Years ago, a guy built a house for 40 million naira. He was down financially because he invested everything. His woman brought out her money to do the whole interior designing to the tune of 19 million naira.
No, she did not do it because she is the wife. She did it because she has family values. She did not loan him the money. She did her own part of it as a wife and member of the family. They would both go back to work to continue hustling and growing again and running the home together. But now, they live in their house. Many women won’t bring out the money and of the few that will, majority will call it a loan. The purpose of working for the growth of the family. As a famiky person, “I” is dead. Everything should be family focused.
Financially, I have mentioned before about how to detect a woman with family values. A woman who sees her money as family income is what you should marry not a woman who sees her income as personal income. A woman earning 100k who sees it as family income is more important than a woman who earns 1 million naira but sees it as personal income.
I have seen men talk about marrying a woman in same income bracket. Income bracket is of no relevance if she sees her money as personal income and doesn’t as a duty commit such resources in the interest of the family. I have seen women build properties and have other investments their men have no idea about. Their siblings are the named benefactors in the event of death. How does that benefits you as a man that made an oath till death with her? There are some that wont even pay kids fees or brong money for little bills becsuse “it is a man’s duty.” Some woman will spend 100k in the house and want 150k in return. You think it is love? What is the point of working as a married woman if you’re still selfish with your money?
NO, IT IS NOT WOMEN’S NATURE. IT IS THE WOMAN YOU CHOSE TO BE WITH. YOU ALLOWED IT. YOU ACCEPT THE LOVE YOU THINK YOU DESERVE
If a woman is a stay at home wife, as a duty, she has committed herself to running the home and parenting in your absence. She is playing her complete part based on your agreement. As a duty, you also have to bear all financial responsibility including her upkeep. However, where you’re both earners, all income should be seen as family income and channelled towards the interest of the home. Money is just a medium of exchange. Stop hoarding it and placing it above the relationship you share and don’t let yourself cheated out of financial commitment in your marriage.
Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be. Stop carrying all responsibilities on your head in the name of love. Allow yourself to be loved too. To love is to give and because nobody can hoard love, when they meet someone they love, they will give that love to them. If you’re not getting the love, you are not the one they love. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one dating them or married to them. That is why you find yourself as side n*g*a enjoying so much benefits main n*g*a isn’t enjoying. She has love but chose to only express it to you even though she is with him for other reasons.
While you’re dating, check out for a woman that is happy to invest herself in you and your relationship. A woman is more loyal to her feelings than your investment. But everyone is more loyal to their investment. The difference is, women will invest in their feelings. On the plus side, that will also show you the woman that will stay in the event life happens to your finances. She is used to being invested in your relationship. Now, she knows she has to carry the home while you hustle your way up. If you’re the only one showing up with financial commitment because her money is for her, she will leave and go look for who can “afford her.” If she even tries to spend her money, there will be lots of grumble, pressure on you to man up, disrespect and she would claim it is a loan and tell the world how she spent on you and you haven’t paid her back.
Date people who understand commitment, who have family values, who do not exalt money above relationship, who understand life because life is unscripted and s*it happens but a famiky stay together and ride the storm together. Commitment is hardwork even on the best days bit on the worst days is when your commitment is tested.
I’ll conclude by debunking the statement that you should marry a high earning woman “because she can” step up for you. “Because she can” is an assumption. There is no assurance. Youll sacrifice and die alone. You can’t enter a marriage based on assumption. Date someone who invests herself financially in the relationship. She takes care of bills with you during the course of the relationship. There is no such thing as “she can.” Date who actually do.
In the end, we accept the love we think we deserve.
