By: Prince Ikem Obioma
I walked into a barber shop to get a haircut Yesterday.
It was a new barber shop in town at New Owerri that just opened the previous week; I went to try them out yesterday.
Got in and it was freezing cold inside.
I counted the air conditioners, there were five!
I said okay, maybe it’s just to draw customers.
I sat down and immediately, a young lady came to offer me groundnut and chinchin.
Prince Ikem Obioma
“Hmmm! Is this a setup?” I thought to myself.
I still took it as the usual first time aesthetics, until someone came to offer me a glass of wine.
God abeg oo, I had to look at the place I was to be sure it wasn’t a restaurant I mistakenly entered.
Time to cut my hair, someone wearing black suit was the barber.
It was at that point I knew I was a finished man.
I was already seated and I didn’t know how to stand up and tell them coming here was a mistake.
The guy even brought out different clippers and asked me to make my choice.
Hey God! I chose and he took it into one oven (e pass sterilizer) to let it heat for 5 minutes.
As it was heating, the girl brought cake.
At that point, I told her I was done. I wished I could even vomit their useless chinchin and groundnut.
Time to cut my hair, the clipper was just moving smooth on my head; you could tell it wasn’t an ordinary clipper.
After they finished giving me a clean haircut, they washed my head with one solvent I never asked for.
I thought it was over, until one lady came, took over and started massaging my scalp ooo!
Hei, mamili oku escaped my bladder!
When they were done, the same girl God will punishhhhh came and asked me if I wanted another glass of wine.
These people were obviously good at what they do. They knew I would need that wine before I got my bill.
I took the glass of wine and swallowed it whole.
Then, they directed me to their accountant to pay.
Barber shop that has an accountant, God why me?
As I went to the account, they had already printed my bill in a paper and handed it over to me.
I looked at it and saw N33,500..I sat down first and start sweating profusely..
Well, I survived it by his Grace !!
