By Ohaegbulem Lambert
Marriage is a social union which mostly involve the opposite sex.
However, it is noticeable that lots of people are up to the age of marriage and yet unmarried.
This very write up is going to be directed to the ladies, while that for guys should be expected soonest.
I took my time to organise some points as to why women are unmarried and I shall be explaining them briefly so you won’t be bored .
1. Bad Attitude and Character.
Sometime ago I was opportuned to attend a court wedding at one of the registries in Lagos State, Nigeria. One of the ladies that went with us was shocked to discover that, most of the ladies that got married were not even up to her standards in terms of beauty yet, they were able to marry very handsome guys while she’s not engaged. She felt so bad. One of the guys who went with us for the wedding, who had also dated the lady for a year and some months earlier, made us know later that when he was dating that lady, he noticed that the lady had bad manners especially with the way she talks to people. The worst of it was that she doesn’t see it as bad and each time he tries to correct her, she proves incorrigible. So the guy broke up with the lady and got married to another woman.
2. Religious beliefs.
Some women have used religious ideologies to chase away their men. My female cousin will never marry any man who is not attending same church with her, nor will she see any man as responsible, if you don’t attend her church, infact that is their church’s doctrine and now she’s 39. I once spoke with her about how her belief system is affecting her and her social life. She just opened the scriptures and started preaching to me why I should leave my church and join her church. So I gave up on her case.
3. Culture and Tradition
Some communities in Nigeria for example forbade their other daughters from getting married until the first daughter is married. This has affected lots of relationships and for that reason, those relationships may be called off.
In another separate Nigerian culture, the oldest female child is not allowed to marry, instead, she is permitted to have lots of lovers whom she’s free to have sexual relationships with and if pregnancy occurs, the father of the child will have no right over the child. This is called Sira Syndrome. Although this is changing, but it’s still in existence as some families still adhere to their cultural practices.
4. Psychological Reasons.
Sometimes some people’s problems are psychological, and it is a huge factor as to why some women are unmarried. Some women don’t see any good in men probably because, some of them have been through rape and others things. For that reason they vow not to get married.
Also some ladies experiences as children while in the care of their parents or whoever was a terrible one and as such they made the decision never to marry in their lives.
Again, some ladies have been in series of unhealthy relationships, so for that reason they wrote off marriage in their hearts and have remained faithful to their vows of never getting married.
5. Pikiness
Due to some reasons, some ladies became picky when it comes to choosing whom to marry. This is due to many reasons but I shall explain two major reasons.
One of the reasons some ladies are picky is that, they’ve watched lots of Romantic movies ,hence they want such men they see on screen to be their husbands. For example some young ladies will tell you, I want my future husband to be tall, broadcheasted, he should have six packs, comfortable, has is own car etc. Now the truth is some men become wealthy when they are married. You might be the reason he’ll make it. Remember the sayings that goes thus ”Behind every successful man there’s a woman” and also ”Two good heads are better than one.”
Again some ladies are picky because of the relationship stress their mothers’ pass through in marriages as well as their experiences in some unhealthy relationships. A lady once told me, she can’t marry a man whose mother is still alive, I was shocked and I later got to know that her mother saw hell in the hands of her mother inlaw.
6. Jealousy
Women are possessive by nature and would not like to see their men come too close to someone else especially if the person is a female. Some women will never marry you if you have a female secretary, it’s either you sack her or no marriage. Now some men won’t want to take such level of jealousy. This can lead to relationship strains and may not allow marriages to come through.
7.Rule Making.
While it is through that women love to be possessive and would love all attention to be given them, some women also want everything to go their own way in a relationship. They want to decide everything about their men and men being an egoistic partner don’t like too many rules, this can frustrate the marriage plans in sight.
Some women have held lots of high positions in different establishments and as such, they make rules which their surbodinates obey. They often bring such attitude to their relationships. This is why some men don’t like to marry some women who have got various educational degrees and who hold/held high portfolios.
8. Economic Reasons.
Economic Reasons can also make some women remain single, in the sense that some women are into various careers and they felt being married can limit their involvements with their careers, so they hold on to their careers and surpress marriage talks .
9. Spiritual Husbands.
Christians and Africans are familiar with this phinominon. Most times it is referred to as Incubus and etymologically the term was gotten from the Latin word incubo.
Most times according to African and Christian belief, this demons can posses a body and also starts to be possessive and for that reason will make a woman’s affection for a man to die or vice versa . A friend of mine told me her experience and that after some exorcisms and deliverance she got married, though late but she was delivered.
Ohaegbulem Lambert
Johnalidy05@gmail.com
